You always ask me why I keep trying. You really don’t know? Or will you not admit it to yourself? I did finally just come out and told you exactly why not too long ago. You just looked at me, never changing expression! (At least you didn’t frown, you were such a happy girl that day, but noncommittal does seem to be your favored attitude). You could also ask C, she tells me (and you) that I am in love with you all the time; in fact A accused me of it about three years ago, at which time I totally denied it…guess I couldn’t see, but it was probably the whole “she’s my boss thing”. But you’re not my boss anymore, I don’t even work there.
But anyhow, I am not sure you know what I am trying to “do”. Believe it or not, I’m not trying to get you into the sack. (Okay, I AM a guy, so I cannot deny that hasn’t crossed my mind at some point. But that’s not primary thing.)
But mostly what I try for is to get some sign of reciprocity of feelings. Do you realize how seldom you even look me in the eye? I throw double entendres and compliments out there to get some kind of a response from you, but you are the champion of maintaining a non-responsive, flat affect when it comes to acknowledging me. Do you truly not have any feeling of fondness/friendliness for me beyond “the guy that fixes stuff for you”? You know, I am probably the safest guy in the world to flirt with. I am not the guy that wants to screw you then dump you. I’m not trying for any ulterior motives, and I sure as hell am not doing anything behind my wife’s back.
I just can’t figure out why I’m the one guy you won’t flirt back with. In fact, you take pleasure in pointing out that I have exactly zero chance to ever be the type you WOULD consider. Yes, yes, I know, there’s nothing wrong with the two of us being (platonic) friends. But, sometimes, sometimes I wish I could not care.
Posted on Thursday, 23 July 2009
